By Ardi Keim, Massachusetts
I had never grieved a death before—not even that of my brother, my father, or my grandmother. I had lost friends and loved ones in my life, but I always knew they went to a better place. Relatives, acquaintances, and fellow soldiers—no matter; when they left my life, I was not burdened by the heartwrench others felt. I guess I didn’t understand grief really. I knew intellectually why others were so saddened, but I didn’t relate on a heart level. Because of this, it wasn’t easy for me to console them in the midst of such trials. Did I have no compassion?
Then a tragedy touched me. It was the loss of a pet. The night before a trip, I took our hamster, Kadi, to be cared for by another. In the morning I got the call before leaving: Kadi had unexpectedly died. A shock wave of emotion overwhelmed me. I was alone. Very. I wept as never before. And I understood.
In memory of a hamster who taught me compassion:
Kadi
I cry your name without reason
Repeated like bolts in a blinding storm
And thunder
Call me from where you are
In time
Soft and true
New language learning
The memory of your touch
Kiss of my hand
Light kept in a boundless way
Break down this door
Love the touch
Sing in the Light and Sound
Come in and call me by name
Bring in the kitten
Sing for the birdsong within you
Fly with the eagles
Dance with the English poets
Call me from heaven’s door
And liven this heart
By washing
When this Soul’s physical body was brought to me, we buried it in a paper box in the yard and marked it with a stone. A sunflower grew there that summer.
With Kadi’s death, I came to understand more about life.
This happened a few years back but I could recall it as if a few minutes ago… We had just returned from my Mother’s funeral memorial and a neighbour walked up to me solemnly and handed me a box and said he was sorry. It contained the body of my daughter’s beloved cat, Star (short for Blue Star)…
During my daughter’s coming out of infancy, and during an unwell time, a frail time. My wife at the time, got her another frail little friend, a little kitten who was also unwell at the time… Both kitten and daughter got better and grew stronger together. And my daughter, because I came from a culture where animal were animal, and human were human, taught me to love her pet friend just like I love her, like a member of the family.
So when this neighbour handed me a box that contained Star’s physical body (she had been killed by another neighbour’s dog), I was crestfallen. As I went back to the house to explain what had just happened I just fell into a sobbing mess…
My ex-wife explained that maybe it was a delayed effect of my mother’s funeral that we had just returned from but I didn’t feel and think so. Like Ardi, I have managed the passing of very close human relatives including mother and father, a little differently. And not with so much sorrow.
What I did not know then was that my daughter’s cat, Star’s passing opened up a window to a future of loving all life as I am loved. So I missed her desperately. But with more love than sorrow.
Thank you for your wonderful healing story and poem Ardi. May the blessings be.
That story touched me so much. Little souls like that can teach us so much about Love.
Thank you for sharing your story and your beautiful poem. Animals can teach us so much about love. Kadi was so cute. I’ve lost pets before who have returned to me in new bodies. May the Blessings Be.
Beautiful Story!
Beautiful.
Thank you for the story, Ardi. I went through a similar experience of my heart opening up after the loss of a loved one. It was in a seemingly unrelated event. I guess Spirit knows when we need the experience.
Beautiful story, it reminds me of my dog and cat. How they used to make me feel in love and the vibes that we shared. I miss them.
Beautiful poem…
Beautiful story…I once owned a hamster named Huey, he bought me so much joy! Animals are a gift from God!!!
My 15 yr. old dog, Doobie and I have a strong bond of love. He has seen me through the challenges of my life. Doobie appears in my dreams–running around me. He has a heart murmur and a collapsing tranchea. I know I won’t have him forever so I try to treasure each moment with him. Animals teach us so much about love bec. their love is unconditional; it is much harder to lose them. I am sorry for your loss. Love in Eck. Gigi
Excellente histoire.
I cry your name without reason… is exactly what a lost love feels like. Beautiful poem.
Very lovely story. I hope to adopt a dog one day 🙂
soulful hamster. I can relate. NJ a rabbit soul affected me the same way, but unexpectedly a couple of years down the road. I realized how much love was given and received between us, and I grieved deeply for about minutes. Best Jim